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The Days Are Packed
by Elizabeth Lipp
The only logical place to start is the beginning. The beginning of any one of these tales is an arbitrary one, as these are all ongoing stories, so let's just start with the IEP meeting.
G's team delivered the draft IEP meeting precisely 20 hours before we were scheduled to have the meeting. I was relieved to see that services weren't going away, but annoyed to see that some much needed services were not getting added. So I did my usual 'all points' bulletin to all my contacts asking for input and advice, I took notes, assembled my arguments, and sent these to my advocate.
Who never got them.
So we show up at the meeting, drag our advocate friend outside and brainstorm our strategy. We want five days of support for G. He's getting 4 in his current classroom. We want him there five days. R tells me that we won't get the 5 days, but how about itinerant support at his preschool the 5th day?
Plan B. I'm on it.
So we sit down at the table and what they are hoping is an hour-long rubber stamp meeting stretches to nearly 2 1/2 hours as we negotiate plan B. The team agrees, but now the case manager has to approve. And if she doesn't, 10-day letter, baby.
The school case manager came back in (after having left at the 1:25 mark) at the 2 hour mark and had a look that said "What are you all still doing here?"
Needless to say, G's teachers at the preschool are ecstatic about the support; not that G is an issue (his behaviors are all passive, thus fooling people into thinking he has none), but there are other undx'ed kids at the center who have been trying the patience and expertise of the providers. So whatever I am able to score for G will turn into an 'everyone wins.'
So we have lunch with R and learn a lot about what we'll have to deal with when IEP turns into ISP. Hoping we never have to find out first hand, but am glad to learn.
DH drops me off, Nic gets off the bus. I try to work, and my son, who lacks a social filter, is hollering while I try to make some calls: "DON'T talk with your mouth full! Is this another business call? Who is it, mom? Is it dad? Can I talk?"
He certainly can.
We get G and get ready to walk to the pool. There's a tantrum--or three. Where's my library card? Nic, did you get all the videos? Where's your suit? Take your hiking book--you are NOT going exploring on your own? G, can you put your suit on? Nic, get the dust buster and clean this up. I don't care if you didn't do it.
Finally, off we go. We're not there 10 minutes and we have to clear the pool. Nic finds another schoolmate and hangs with her. Until she comes over to me and asks me to do something about him. So Nic hangs with her sister instead. G is bouncing up and down, practicing his kicks--the kids are staying away from him today because I'm there and not going to let him get dunked again. And all the while I'm looking warily to the northwest--a thunderstorm is coming.
I herd the kids out of the pool, get them changed, and we head to the library. Nic is annoyed because I am interrupting his 'chat' with his 'friends.' (I have seen this chat and it didn't look like it was going all that great, anyway.) We stop at the library, where Nic loads up on picture books and I chat up the librarian (no limits on anything, you are boosting my business!) and off we go.
And who do we meet at the top of the hill but Nic's friend, B? So we spend the next hour and change there (dinner time slipping precariously away in favor of some much-needed social time with Nic's buddy). But the really cool thing? B's mom. I never really had a chance to talk to her before, but looking at her, I recognize a kindred spirit.
"I live over in Stepford Wives Central," I confess. Her eyes light up.
"Oh, no," she laughs. "That's totally *here*."
And my heart sings. I have finally found a friend here, myself.
We're talking sleepovers and get togethers. B will hang with Nic at lunch and recess. My head is truly spinning with the possibilities. And B is a popular kid. The best thing about B? He has a cousin with Downs; his brother is ADHD--he gets that Nic is different and he doesn't care--he likes him anyway. And he's not going to care what other people think about it.
I told B's mom she is raising an amazing kid. She shrugs, tells me she wonders how other people raise their kids. But it's clear she doesn't care what people think, either.
And it goes without saying that I LOVE that about them all.
